Coping with Aggression and Teaching Self-Control

Young children, including toddlers, may exhibit seemingly aggressive behaviors. Around 12-18 months of age, children are learning how to separate from their caregiver(s). This can be a stressful time! Additionally, it is a critical point in child development as their language skills expand. While toddlers and young preschool students become increasingly verbal, they may continue to rely on body language—such as hitting or biting—to express stress, anger, sadness, etc.

When working with young children, it is important to remember the specific child’s age when assessing aggressive behavior. For infants—from 0-12 months—it is helpful to redirect unwanted behavior after acknowledging how the infant may feel. For example, if a baby pulls your hair, you can say, “Ouch, that hurts my body.” Then, direct the infant towards something positive they can do with their hands.

This process of redirecting is relevant for toddlers, too. However, you can also provide the child with language surrounding the behavior. A few other tips include: staying calm, recognizing the child’s feelings, offering alternatives, and encouraging the child to take a break. These tips are practiced by PFM staff and can be emulated in the home environment.

For additional information and support, we invite you to read this article. Throughout the month of April, we will host parent-teacher conferences. This is an opportune time to discuss your child’s behavior and how best to support their physical and emotional development.

How to Teach Your Child to Appropriately Get Your Attention

Trying to get someone’s attention can prove difficult, and it can be a frustrating process for both children and adults. As adults, we may choose to tap someone on the shoulder or whisper, “excuse me,” to gain their attention.

As children work to develop language skills, saying “excuse me” to get mom or dad’s attention is not front-of-mind. Instead, they may resort to behaviors that elicit a response or reaction. This could include whining, yelling, or other less-desirable behaviors. (As parents, we’re quick to respond when our child yells, and this is something we work to improve on in the classroom, too.)

A few ways in which we can teach children to appropriately get our attention include:

1. Model the behavior you’re teaching your child.

2. Practice, practice, practice! Play with this new skill with your child, family, and school community.

3. Remind your child of your expectations. For example, you may choose to say, “It looks like you want to tell me something. I’d like to talk to you after you tap me gently on the shoulder.”

4. Celebrate when your child demonstrates their new skill.

To learn more about how best to support your child’s behavior, we invite you to read the complete article.

Teaching your Child to Be More Patient

Patience is a lifelong skill that can be taught at home and in the Montessori classroom. But how do you teach patience? Preschool students practice patience while waiting for a work to be available, standing in line for snack, or when taking a turn on the playground. However, infants and toddlers can also practice patience!

In this article, you can learn how to s-t-r-e-t-c-h a child’s patience within a short period of time. (Patience “stretching” should not be confused with teasing, as there is a marked difference between the two.) We invite you to utilize timers or count with your child as they wait for your attention, a toy, snack, etc. Start by having your child wait a few seconds, and then, stretch the waiting period by several minutes!

Let's Play: How your Child Learns and Grows Through Play

“When you make time to play each day, you are giving your child a big dose of love and learning.”-Rebecca Parlakian and Sarah MacLaughlin

Play is an important part of learning, particularly for children ages 0-3. It provides an opportunity to learn, fosters creativity, and helps refine fine and gross motor skills. Additionally, play is means through which children can express emotions.

In the Montessori classroom, play is incorporated into much of our practical life work. (Of course, play also takes place organically on the playground.) For example, in the toddler classroom, a basket with kitchen items, such as plates, utensils, and wooden food, emulates the movement and practice of cooking. While the “kitchen work” could be considered play, it familiarizes toddler students with kitchen items while demonstrating what the items are used for.

To learn more about the importance of play, and how you can enhance your child’s play, we invite you to read more.

Public Displays of Disaster: What to do when your child has a meltdown in public

Let’s imagine—you’re at the grocery store. As you enter the checkout line, your child asks for something. When you calmly respond, “No, not right now,” a tantrum ensues. Surely you’re familiar with the tantrum—body on the ground, tears, (loud) words. Public tantrums are stressful for both the child and caregiver. It can be near impossible to reason with or communicate to your child when they’re in this stressed state-of-mind. It can be equally difficult for you to remain calm, particularly when you have an audience.

In this article, experts encourage parents to practice patience, respond positively to potential criticism (received by onlookers), validate your child’s feelings, provide choices you can implement in the moment, and more!

Tips for a Successful Home Visit

October is when PFM teachers conduct home visits! It is one of our favorite activities on the PFM calendar.

Home visits are voluntary, but we highly encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity, as it is such a special process that we offer at PFM! Visiting the home of a student provides the teacher insight on what the child’s interests are and how they interact with family, while also giving them a clearer picture of what the child’s life is like outside of the classroom. The visit usually last 30 minutes. Please be aware that some teachers will be commuting by bus or driving to your homes for the first time and this can cause them to be later than planned. A sign-up sheet will be placed in the lobby soon with dates and times for your child’s teacher to come and visit your home.

Tips for a Successful Home Visit:

It is a good idea to have your child open the door and greet their teacher themselves. Practicing this with your child before the visit is a good idea. It is okay if they turn shy at the last minute and want you to open the door for them.

During the visit you can have things planned such as tea time, a little snack, a tour of the house (you do not have to show every room, just the ones your child uses most). The children usually like to show their teachers their bedroom, and where their toys are kept. Having a special book or toy to show their teacher is always a good idea. This creates an easy opening for communication.

Home visits are not a time to talk about your child’s progress or the issues they may be having in the classroom. Discussions such as these should be scheduled during school hours with your child’s teacher.

Some good topics to discuss are: who your child is playing with, what your child likes to do on the playground, what songs they like to sing, what foods they like to eat at lunch, etc.

When the visit is coming to a close, the teacher will ask to see one last thing and then you can help your child say their goodbyes. A hug and a thank you are always nice ways to end a home visit.

For additional information on home visits, we invite you to read this article or connect with your child’s teacher!

Send-Off Success: Tips to Ease your Morning Drop-Off

Your morning routine may or may not look something like this: your child wakes, enjoys breakfast, gets dressed, and plays. (This routine runs relatively smoothly on some days and seemingly less smooth on others.) Now, it's time to pack up and head to school.

The school transition can elicit a variety of emotional responses from your child--their caregiver is leaving. While your child is in a safe, nurturing environment at PFM, it can be difficult for infants, toddlers, and preschool-age students to understand what school drop-off entails. To ease your child's potential stress, we encourage you to talk to them about your morning routine. Reassure your child they are safe at school, and you will pick them up at the end of the day.

We encourage you to have these conversations with children of all ages! For additional drop-off tips and information, we enjoyed this article.

How to Teach Your Child to Take Turns

Learning patience is a critical life skill--one that is often overlooked in early childhood. However, even young children can be taught to practice patience (such as sharing, taking turns, waiting in line, etc.). Children are not born knowing how to do this. Rather, they rely on adults and older children to teach them this important life skill.

This article provides insight on how to communicate and demonstrate patience to your child. For example, say to your child, "I see you're waiting your turn to go down the slide." While it may sound intuitive, verbalizing this provides support to the child and celebrates their positive behavior.

At PFM, we encourage the students to wait their turn before going outside, using a work, talking at circle, and while waiting for meals. We discuss "taking turns" and practicing patience throughout the school day. If you have questions as to how you can support this behavior at home, please reach out to your child's teacher!