Nurturing Your Child While Setting Limits

Parenting.  This one word means so much.  Your job as a parent is the most important, frustrating, fantastic, difficult, and rewarding job you will ever have.  Each day, it seems like there is something new to deal with:  a new temper tantrum, a new sickness, a new defiance, a newly learned naughty word… and you are expected to be patient and helpful in times when you don’t think you have any patience or helpfulness left inside of you. But you do. And you do your best to get through those murky moments and come out with new tools in your parenting toolbox to use for the next extraordinary parenting event that arises.  By nurturing and setting boundaries, your work as a parent might even become a little bit easier… over time. 

Read on for more information about how nurturing and setting limits with your child is important.  From the website:

The Dual Role of Parents

If you have ever wondered if you are being either too strict or too lenient, or if you are giving your children enough love, then you have stumbled upon considerations about the two important roles that parents have. Each has a part in helping your children become responsible.

Nurturing/Caring Role

When you are carrying out the Nurturing/Caring Role, you are being kind and loving to your children. It is in this role that you listen to your children, support them, spend time with them, and are affectionate with them.

As the Nurturing Parent, you communicate unconditional love – no matter what happens, you love your children just because they exist and are yours. This allows your children to take risks, to make mistakes, knowing that they have their parents’ unconditional support and love.

Structure/Executive Role

When you are fulfilling the responsibilities of the Structure/Executive Role, you are setting limits and boundaries, imposing discipline, teaching your children how they should behave, passing on your values, and giving guidance.

By not meeting their needs immediately and not giving them everything they want, you provide an opportunity for your children to tolerate some frustration, delay gratification, become less impulsive and less self-centered.

You set standards of behavior that you expect your children to meet. You establish consequences for breaking rules and you follow through on those consequences. You teach your children to be appreciative for what they have.

It is through the Executive Role that you hold your children accountable for their behavior, and that in turn, fosters the development of a sense of responsibility.

Dual Roles Combined

Children need their parents to carry out both roles. Children are more likely to accept the limits you set and are more likely to want to meet your expectations (i.e. be responsible) when you provide a warm, caring and supportive relationship that underlies the discipline you impose.

Additional resource:

7 Hints For Setting Boundaries With Your Kids